Browse Rodney Dangerfield quotes and sayings.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves […]
You know you’re ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger […]
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s […]
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette. Rodney Dangerfield
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. […]
Comedy is a camouflage for depression. Rodney Dangerfield
My dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn’t, so he nailed down […]
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a […]
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all. Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an […]
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to […]
Better to keep quiet and let people think you’re an idiot than speak up and […]
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect the way my luck is running if I was a politician […]
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. […]