Browse Joan Rivers quotes and sayings.
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or […]
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present. Joan Rivers
People say that money isn’t the key to happiness, but I always figured if you […]
You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, […]
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny. Joan Rivers
I was smart enough to go through any door that opened. Joan Rivers
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later […]
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is […]
Listen. I wish I could tell you it gets better. But, it doesn’t get better. […]
Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your […]
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers
Happiness is when you’re too busy to wonder if you’re happy or not. Joan Rivers
I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to […]
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can’t make it through […]
You can’t change what happened. So have a little wallow, feel very sorry for yourself, […]
Gay marriage—I am so against it because all my gay friends are out. And if […]
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. Joan Rivers
I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put […]
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you. […]
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, […]
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn’t make you nice. Hitler read history, too. Joan […]