Browse George Carlin quotes and sayings.
When it comes to bullshit, big-time major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe […]
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin
I dislike and despise groups of people, but I love individuals. Every person you look […]
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Geroge Carlin
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
The planet is fine. The people are fucked. George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driver slower than you is an idiot, and anyone […]
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with […]
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. […]
The future will soon become a thing of the past. George Carlin
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin
Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you’re honest with them, then you’re an asshole. George Carlin
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad […]
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for […]
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity… George Carlin
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more […]
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough […]
George Carlin
When someone is important and says ‘I haven’t got all day.’ I always wonder, how […]
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said […]
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem. George Carlin