Browse Erma Bombeck quotes and sayings.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. Erma Bombeck
What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday […]
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for […]
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion […]
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs […]
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a […]
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and […]
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that […]
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Erma Bombeck
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert […]
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take […]
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter […]
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re […]
When humor goes, there goes civilization. Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
On Mother’s Day I can think of no mother more deserving than a mother who […]
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. Erma Bombeck
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. Erma Bombeck
When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advise?” it’s a mere formality. […]
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck