Joke Quotes, Joke One-Liners, Joke Sayings, Joke Memes, Joke Statuses and Joke Tweets!
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to […]
I’m a Cancer, I’m music passionate. I like long walks on the beach. Will Ferrell
I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons. Douglas Adams
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more […]
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for […]
Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all. Jane Austen
Once I had a rose named after me and I was flattered. But I was […]
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us […]
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, […]
I believe sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can […]
You’re so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet. Kami Garcia
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it […]
It’s like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget. Eoin Colfer
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back […]
You can’t ride home on a bowl of goat. Ron White
If I don’t die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare […]
Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club? Turtle! Turtle! Dana Carvey
This is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl. Bob Newhart
What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you ‘turn up missing’? Kevin Hart
Hippies? Why, I’m the original. Jerry Lee Lewis
Ghetto humor is the social twin of fantasy; together they sustain the powerless, who accomplish […]
I’m just a big hairy, American winning machine! Will Ferrell
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute! Ron White
Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional […]
I’m a real people – pleaser. Dana Carvey
Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up. […]
At my age flowers scare me. George Burns
A word to the wise ain’t necessary- it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. […]
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: she changes it more often. Oliver Herford
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one […]
Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel
You never know where to look when eating a banana. Peter Kay
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called […]
Today we celebrate our freedom by scaring the shit out of America’s dogs. Ron White
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city. George Burns
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough […]
Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of […]
Only 3 types of people tell the truth kids, drunk people, & anyone who is […]