Joke Quotes, Joke One-Liners, Joke Sayings, Joke Memes, Joke Statuses and Joke Tweets!
I’ve had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don’t understand women. […]
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an […]
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty…mine’s putting in an express lane. Ron […]
Relationships are like farting, if you push too hard…things could get messy real fast. Kevin […]
Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter. Tina Fey
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you […]
Betty White
And some people say Jesus wasn’t Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, […]
Race car driving is a lot like sex; all men think they’re good at it. […]
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. Cindy Gardner
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving […]
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa […]
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops […]
Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be […]
I fear one day I’ll meet God, he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to […]
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I […]
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Sam Levenson
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. […]
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a […]
Donald Trump insisted he’s always had a great relationship with women. he said “I believe […]
With high definition tv everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your […]
My kind of wanting to be funny didn’t come from need, necessarily. The closest I […]
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. […]
I think in twenty years I’ll be looked at like Bob Hope. Doing those president […]
I’m very open to the up-and-comers. Bob Newhart
Funny is when you’re serious. Harvey Korman
I don’t write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, […]
I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty. George Burns
I would love to be Moses. Dick Van Dyke
Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was […]
If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen […]
Thank you… Motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up […]
Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it. John Oliver
I think we call all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet […]
Robbers broke into the gap over the weekend. The suspects are described as being armed […]
I love playing ego and insecurity combined. Jim Carrey