Joke Quotes, Joke One-Liners, Joke Sayings, Joke Memes, Joke Statuses and Joke Tweets!
My favorite unknown movie is ‘The Comic’. Dick Van Dyke
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. […]
For a single woman, the best contraceptive is to yell, “Yes, I want to have […]
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. Ambrose Bierce
Some people put us down. But I still haven’t heard of any Americans trying to […]
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry […]
Today is Valentine’s Day -or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! Jay Leno
Reading The Cat in the Hat is fine, but not during sex. Alyson Hanningan
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal
Ray Romano
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Andy Borowitz
Don’t you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your […]
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you […]
When I asked my personal trainer at the gym which machine I should use to […]
Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all […]
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. Steven Wright
I wonder if illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? Jerry Seinfeld
I’m as clean as a whistle. Tommy Chong
I’ve always showed up. If I got paid. Jerry Lee Lewis
I think there are still words you can’t use in family entertainment that you can […]
I did not climb to the top of the food to chain to eat carrots. […]
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have […]
Marijuana: It won’t kill you… unless a bale of it falls on you. Willie Nelson
You always want to do a good job and hopefully, I won’t be in something […]
Society needs a couple of vents that say what you’re not supposed to say. Sam […]
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all. Rodney Dangerfield
You only know that you’re smart because you’re around dumb people from time to time! […]
I’m just a musical prostitute! Freddie Mercury
You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem […]
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for […]
40 million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, […]
Croissants are like donuts that went to college and made something of themselves. William Shakespeare
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just […]
Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. Carol Burnett
Soccer is one of those things that the rest of the world cares more about […]
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity… George Carlin
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for […]
Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge of the Hicks Ron White
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield