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All I do is play music and golf–which one do you want me to give […]
Onstage, I am a devil. But I’m hardly a social reject. Freddie Mercury
Well, I loved variety in television,I loved sketch comedy. At Saturday Night Live, I stayed […]
I think there’s a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike. Bob […]
I’m not a star. Harvey Korman
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a […]
Essentially, student debt is like HPV, if you go to college, you’re almost certainly going […]
Only 3 types of people tell the truth kids, drunk people, & anyone who is […]
Nature can be lethal. But it doesn’t hold a candle to man. Samuel L. Jackson
What’s funny is that you can think you really value your life until you almost […]
People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent. Bob […]
Our first gig was a battle of the bands. We did 45 minutes of comedy […]
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of […]
When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start […]
Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. […]
The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they […]
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and […]
There’s no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else […]
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I […]
Thinking isn’t agreeing or disagreeing. That’s voting. Robert Frost
When the whole point of Queen was to be original. Freddie Mercury
I think free speech is probably the coolest thing we have in this country, and […]
I want to see people turn and writhe; make them feel things they cannot see […]
My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained […]
Hookers in Times Square, God bless ‘em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an […]
When you’re small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot. Tim […]
How do I take it? However it comes! I’ll eat it, drink it, smoke it, […]
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the […]
Never test the depth of river with both feet. Warren Buffett
Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you […]
You won’t hear any more alcohol songs from Snoop Dogg-unless I stumble upon some Hennessy. […]
I love women with attitude. Kevin Hart
You can never “just be friends” with someone you fall in love with. Tupac Shakur
If it’s illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail! Kurt Cobain
Vote for Me I’ll Fix This Shit” Roseanne 2012 Roseanne Barr
Starbuck’s is going to start selling instant coffee. This is for people who want the […]
People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I […]
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis Presley
The stock market is a device transferring money from the impatient to the patient. Warren […]