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It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put that booger that counts. […]
We ask only to be reassured about the noises in the cellar and the window […]
Most days I think I am more cyanide than a cosmic masterpiece, I’ve always been […]
We are of opinion that instead of letting books grow moldy behind an iron grating, […]
A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know. Laurence […]
The wrongdoer is more unfortunate than the man wronged. Democritus
I have a saying. ‘Never judge a book by its cover’. I say that because […]
The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth. Jean Cocteau
Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink. Charles Bukowski
I received my parents’ permission and went into the Navy on June 3, 1941. Jack […]
I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him […]
He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future. Adolf Hitler
You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing […]
There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt. Audre […]
Genius is never understood in its own time. Bill Watterson
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ‘I want […]
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if […]
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. […]
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year […]
If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human […]
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies […]
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. Walter […]
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get […]
The most famous rumor for me is that I had throat cancer. I never had […]
Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops […]
Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that’s […]
Lunatics with a speculative bent can sometimes stumble overly close to certain guarded cosmic secrets. […]
People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind […]
If you become sick yourself, don’t waste your vomit by sending it overboard. Vomit makes […]
You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody’s crazy. Charles Manson
He knows that you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to […]
She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword. Atticus
Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf herder. Carrie Fisher
If you are going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell? Steve […]
I’m a little nuts. I’m a lot nuts. All I know is that in the […]
A sense of humor and a little lack of respect: that’s what you need to […]
It’s not enough to be American. You always have to be something else, Irish-American, German-American, […]
The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he’s going to be. […]
Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I am […]